雖然身為老師,我要本著有教無類的心態,但是有時候學生/家長跟老師的對話實在是太蠢了。。。

這是一份紀錄部分學生跟部分家長的笨蛋實錄,目前只有英文版,那天我有時間,就會翻成中文(雖然目前可能是遙遙無期)

 

=====Dont come in unless you're ready line=====

Do not underestimate the stupidity of your student!

In the middle of a class review.

Student A to other student:  “ F***, shut up.”

OS: I understand that you have a limited vocabulary, but don’t you think it’s STUPID saying that in a CLASSROOM when a TEACHER is IN FRONT of you?

Teacher: A.

OS: I would have just ignored him and wait until the end of class, cuz that’s exactly what he wants, more attention.

Student A: What did I do?

OS: Oh, nothing much, just that F*** word WHICH IS FORBIDDEN IN SCHOOL. You really could have been stupid somewhere else, you know?

Teacher: How do you even dare to ask that question?

OS: He’s not that smart to figure out that question

Student A: O, you mean F***, shut up?

OS: That’s exactly what you should do, say that word again.

Teacher: That’s it, you’re getting detention.

OS: O yeah, some action.

Student: I don’t care. It’s not the first time anyways.

OS: Oh, you can actually count. *clapping*

Teacher: I’ll give your detention tomorrow

Student: Why not now?

Teacher: I have to give a quiz now, I will deal with you later.

Student: I have to take the quiz?

OS: Yep, that what’s he in for

Teacher: Not any more, you are going to the office

Student: right now?

OS: No, you can go there when you want to go, you know, like when she calls your mom or something.

Teacher: (stare) yes.

Student: What about my quiz?

OS: gee, you care?

Teacher: What do you think?

Student: What do I care?

OS: it’s really not too hard to figure out  

 

Don’t underestimate the stupidity of the parent,

Especially the parents of those stupid students.

The class ends; the teacher tries to call the parents

Teacher: I wish I am calling about good news, but I am afraid that it won’t this time. A said the F word to the class and when I called his name, he talked back

(Parent talks)

Teacher: Not to me, but he said that to one or some of the student.

OS: I hope your son’s not that stupid.

(Parent talks)

Teacher: The “F” word is not tolerated at all in class.

OS: I thought it’s a COMMON SENSE?

(Parent talks)

Teacher: I understand, but he should not use the “F” word in the class, it is not and should not be tolerated.

OS: it sounds like the parent’s fighting back…

(Parent talks)

Teacher: I would love to find out too, but talking back to the teacher is absolutely not allowed in my class.

OS: Oh, yeah, they are fighting back. Do you think

1.      We would totally care why he said “F” word and we can’t wait to find out the reason and the person responsible so we can tell your son “YOU KNOW, it’s OK for you to SAY ‘F***’”

2.      We would waste the remaining forty minutes, not giving a quiz or lesson and just make other students be bored and listen to why your son have to say the “F” word, so I can tell you why he said it and make it OK FOR HIM TO SAY “F****”?

3.      We are so discriminating that we must find a target in class and make sure that he will say the “F” word in I-don’t-know-what-time, so I can fill out a detention form for him, tell the office I am sending him, and call his parents that he’s not doing so well in the class, then make sure we work overtime to see him in the detention room.

4.      We are bored so we have to ignore bunch of paper to grade, 30 other students who are actually interested in the subject, and a quiz to give out, so we can call you and tell how bad your son did, or

5.      All of the above

Gee, I wonder which one would the parent pick =  =+

(Parent talk)

Teacher: He should understand that under any circumstance he should not use the “F” word, it is not allowed, and talking back to a teacher is also very disrespectful.

OS: Yeah, if he has a reason to say the “F” word, it should be OK to say “F***,” just like when a murder hate the victim (hey, that’s a reason), it’s OK FOR HIM TO KILL THAT PERSON and GET AWAY WITH IT.

(Parent talk)

Teacher: I appreciate your help. And just to give you a head up, do you know if A has any allergy problems? Because he has to get up for tissues and go out to sneeze many, many times in classes, if he needs to see a doctor, please take him to the hospital.

OS: we all know that it’s just he has nothing better to do and getting up in front of class and give them your finger sounds a lot better when YOU ARE STUPID.

(Parent talks)

Teacher: I just want to make sure that if he has allergy, he will get the treatment he needs, and if he doesn’t, he would try to stay in his seat and learn, because it will be hard for him to learn if he keeps on going out and sneeze.

OS: I hope the parent’s not that stupid, it’s obvious that your son is OK, he just think that getting up and sneeze every five seconds is fun.

(Parent talks)

Teacher: He can also bring his own tissue, and he never make any sneezing sound when in class, so I wouldn’t mind he stay in his seat if he needs to sneeze.

OS: Alright, I was wrong. But FYI, the tissue comes from our own pocket, because of the budge cut and your son uses half the box in like…A DAY.

(Parent talks)

Teacher: No, all the class material is not funded by school, the teachers have to get them.

OS: and I am going to be a teacher in 2 years….is it too late to stock them right now?

(Parent talk)

Teacher: I understand he must have a reason, but the class was having a review session and he’s the only who shout out loud “F” to other student. And this is absolutely not allowed

OS: Can you just give up? We don’t care about your kid that much to find out why he has to say “F”, he just shouldn’t and btw, get him an English tutor so he can actually speak English. Over 50% population in the WORLD can say “F,” but too bad he lives in America where other English words are not only recommended, they are REQUIRED.

(Parent talk)

Teacher: He missed his quiz today, and I think he might be able to make it up tomorrow.

OS: I wouldn’t worry too much about his grade. It’s really not that hard to predict his grade, considering he barely stays in the classroom.

(Parent talk)

Teacher: I hope so too. Thank you for your time.

 

Teacher, another teacher, me: *laughs*

 

Teacher B: they are just gonna go home and tell their parents that they didn’t do it, we made it up.

Me: I know.

OS: Seriously, we don’t have to make something up to ruin your life, you are capable of doing that yourself. What we have to make up is what to tell the parents that we actually believe you are a good student as long as you try.

Teacher: I have no idea what the parents are thinking.

OS: I don’t know about the others, but I think there is a reason why her son’s not that smart. They do say like father like son, you know.

Me: they’ll have bunch of excuse, she just hates me, I was just kidding, I didn’t do nothing, she just likes to pick on me.

Teacher B: Like we totally care about what they have to say “F,” if I have the time to pick on you, I’d rather use that time and have a life. They really give themselves too much credit.

OS: Totally agree, wait hold on… they don’t even know what’s having a life.

Teacher: Wouldn’t he know already that you should not talk back with an attitude when someone’s angry, he has been in school for almost ten years. He should have learned that at home. How can he be that stupid?

OS: Now, we are just giving him too much credit. Since when do they actually learn? O yeah, they learned how to say “F”.

Me: No, I totally agree.  They should know better. They just think that following the teacher’s instruction is lame. It’s really just funny, I should someday write about the stupidity of students and parents.

 

And here I am.

 

I realized one thing; it takes more than stupidity to do these. It takes courage and persistence because it takes a lot of courage to be stupid knowing that you will get in trouble and be laughed at; you need to keep on doing meaningless and trivial stupid actions until the teacher can’t bare it anymore. But what it takes mostly, are still stupidity and ignorance.

 

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